Is Love marriage or arranged marriage a question prevalent in the mind or does it really have any impact on deciding the success of a marriage? Since this debate is ongoing for years without any conclusion, should we attach so much importance to the type of marriage or should our focus be on how to make a marriage successful? We should contemplate on the above questions before drawing any conclusions for ourselves.
People who think that one type of marriage is better than the other are having a closed view because maybe one type of marriage has worked for a couple and may have failed for another. The type of marriage which is suitable for you depends on your state of mind & lifestyle.
Love or arranged marriages both have their set of pros & cons. We can look into some examples which will make this clear. In love marriages you know your partner from a long time; you know each other’s likes / dislikes, temperaments; which make the beginning of your married life easy & comfortable. But if physical attraction or infatuation is misunderstood for love, it can be fatal for the marriage. Hence do critically analyze whether you can really spend your entire life with the person you love and then get married. Whereas in arranged marriages the couple may take time to understand each other needs, habits & lifestyle. But the major benefit in arranged marriages is that the couple comes together with an open mindset and both are ready for adjustment which is beneficial for the relationship in the long term. In arranged marriages the only point of caution is to decide on the right spouse . Arranged marriage doesn’t mean you see today & marry tomorrow; you need to have several meetings & phone calls to ensure that you are getting married to the person that matches your requirement.
One of the major issues in love marriage is opposition from family. This opposition can be due to many factors like difference in status, caste, religion, educational background, etc. These differences do resolve with time and parents come to terms with reality as they love their children. It is only a matter of time & convincing power of the couple to get things back to normal. Arranged marriages do have the benefit of support from parents & relatives. Here also there can be a big blunder if you choose your spouse under family pressure without analyzing all the aspects as per your requirements.
The biggest advantage in love marriage is the ‘Love’ factor which is the most beautiful feeling that one can experience in life. But people say that by the time you are married to the person you love, the love starts fading. While in an arranged marriage initially the ‘Love’ factor maybe absent but it grows gradually; which has its own sweetness. In some arranged marriages love may never develop which can be a very big disadvantage. Love & care for each other are the ultimate factors that bind a couple and make their married life successful independent of the type of marriage.
Usually in arranged marriages, security and stability are very important for the families. The families usually ignore the emotional & intellectually compatibility, which is equally important today. Hence when you choose your spouse ensure to take into consideration these factors. In love marriages usually you start loving the person’s qualities and then you connect intellectually and decide to spend your lives together. This is relevant in a scenario where true love develops due to each other’s qualities and not in case of superficial love which develops only due to physical attributes.
Arranged marriage or love marriage is just a mind game & is a perception which varies from person to person. Though you have known your partner very well before marriage, being married and living together is totally a new experience. Hence we need to remove these mental blocks that we have created on perfect type of marriage from our mind and just do what suits us the best. Finally marriage is a boon given to us and we can make it successful only through our understanding.
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